Blog Minx

There are a lot of ‘best blogger’ lists floating around this week so I felt compelled to write my own. The following are the best bloggers, no contest. Sorry if you didn’t make the list, but then neither did I.

Note: the blogs aren’t linked to because this is more about using your imagination than using your mouse. But you are permitted to use your imaginary mouse.

1. Frodo Baggins
During his extended quest to fling the Ring into Mount Doom (he only had short legs), Frodo managed to carry his laptop around his neck at the same time and blogged about his journey with his BFF Sam, and Gollum, who was ‘kinda weird’. The story, about love and little people, was filmed as a trilogy but the laptop was removed using Oscar-winning technology. Thus Lord of the Laptop was abandoned as a possible title.

2. Anakin Skywalker
Young Anakin was always seen as ’special’ with a ‘force’ and nowhere more so than on his blog, where he published articles about first his robot-building, then his adoption by a little green man who talked funny, then how he missed his Mom, and then his ‘dark’ feelings until he moved to a new host and changed his blog name to Darth Vader. In 1978 he won the coveted ‘Evil Blogger of the Millennium (Falcon) Award’, narrowly beating John Chow.

3. Hansel & Gretel
Young siblings H&G co-authored a blog during a sad time for the family when their step-mother abandoned them three times (later resolved with family counseling) in a forest, the third time almost fatally when a wicked witch in a candy house tried to cook them. Readers of the blog called for an end to family violence and forest witchery and H&G won Best Children’s Blog, although the prize, ironically, was candy.

4. Harry Potter
Legend of the wizard world Harry Potter was justifiably annoyed that someone had written a series of books about his epic adventures, and so started his own blog. Initially, Harry’s blogging skills were not equal to his wizardry and his traffic was lackluster, despite link-baiting efforts like ‘How I Won The Quidditch Cup’ and ‘How I Defeated Voldemort’. But an article in The Quibbler titled ‘Boy Wizard Blogs: Voldemort Is My Father!’ sent traffic through the roof and Harry was known after that as The Boy Who Blogged.

5. Odysseus
Odysseus was a Greek warrior who fought through the Trojan War and then took another 10 years to return home to his Faithful Wife Penelope because of ill winds, angry gods, monsters, and sexy goddesses. Of course, his blog covered the whole epic journey. While some readers confessed to finding Odysseus’s extended similes rather irksome, as well as his bragging about his fighting skills and beautiful conquests [pics], his eventful life proved a popular read until Blogus, the God of Blogging and Social Networking, was miffed by a lack of libations and brought down his blog completely.