You’re Fired
I enjoy watching Donald Trump’s The Apprentice. On the one hand, I can watch and learn about marketing, project management, interviewing, profit margins and business objectives. On the other hand, there’s the usual entertainment value of watching suckers jump through hoops for a spot working for the Don, only to be told they’re “fired”. (In the German version they say ‘Sie fliegen’ which means a little more like, ‘You fly away now’. So much gentler.)
The fired person is then sent packing in a taxi, and the final few seconds are dedicated to letting them vent as they mutter about how so-and-so didn’t pull their socks up on that last project and it’s totally unfair that they got the boot instead.
I hear there’s a new celebrity version now with the likes of Gene Simmons from KISS, boxer Lennox Lewis and actor (down and out, presumably) Stephen Baldwin. Surely Trumpy would be too scared to fire Lewis in case of an uppercut flying his way.
It got me thinking about other celebrities I’d like to see on the show, and how they’d fail to meet the Trumpster’s expectations. Imagine him, all suited and toupeed and pursed little grey lips, announcing the following:
“Paris, the sex tape was a real money spinner but it wasn’t an original idea and I didn’t see you out there selling it! You’re fired.”
“George, you’ve wasted your budget on silly wars and can’t even talk straight to the camera! You’re fired.”
“Lindsay, you’ve spent 90% of the show in rehab. You seem a lovely girl but haven’t shown me what you can do outside the clubs. You’re fired.”
“Tom, you have a winning smile and play hard, but you can’t seem to keep work and that oddball alien religion separate. People just don’t like you anymore. You’re fired.”
“Oprah, you have a lot of ideas but you just talk, and talk, and talk. I can’t hear myself think! You’re fired.”
[Looking in mirror] “Don, you remind me of myself, you young, handsome scallywag. You’re hired!”
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Posted
on
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008 at 11:06 am
under
‘Tom, jumping on the couch was the last straw. You’re fired.’
‘Katie, you displayed a grevious error in judgment by hooking up with Tom. You’re fired’.
‘Oprah, you made all your viewers suffer by letting Tom jump on your couch. You’re fired.’
Somebody call the guy who scheduled Tom for the show….
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm“Couch, you just sat by and let Tom jump all over you. You’re fired.”
February 5th, 2008 at 6:22 pm