My Mailbox Begat A Plea For Funding
I never receive snail mail these days, so it was with mild excitement that I opened the mailbox to find a leaflet that implored me to help save a 50-year-old local church (ancient by NZ standards) by donating towards its restoration. I’m not a church-goer so I can’t say I felt too strongly about it, and the photo of snazzy new apartments which are threatening to replace the church (”This…. or these!!!”) looked a tad more appealing than the decrepit old relic.
What I did feel strongly about was the dire misuse of the English language, with spelling errors and nonsensical phrases peppered throughout the entire rant. Example: “Dilapidated and close to whether-or-not it can be retained, we are lunching this APPEAL.” My knowledge of dangling participles may be a little stale, but I’m pretty sure the “dilapidated” in that sentence is referring to “we” and not to the church itself.
I am feeling a little dilapidated at the moment; perhaps I should drop leaflets around the neighbourhood asking for donations to restore me.
Sorry, Mr Church. Perhaps I shalt not mock thy poor grammar, or covet thy neighbour’s apartments. Best of luck to you. But please, next time get your leaflet proof-read. Please.
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Sunday, July 6th, 2008 at 10:43 am
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I think they’re still looking for a pro bono proof-reader. Maybe you could apply, and have your many and varied sins forgiven in return.
July 7th, 2008 at 12:00 am