“We’re announcing some great deals at [local electronics store] but this information is embargoed till 11.55am.”

It took a moment to sink in. So… basically what they’re telling me is that they have something to tell me, but they can’t tell me. Plus, it was already after midday so I wasn’t optimistic about ever hearing the news, which was likely to be some crappy deal on something I didn’t need anyway.

Next I’ll be getting ‘embargoed’ Viagra spam in my inbox.

*

The other night was a special occasion and I went out to dinner at a swanky restaurant, which is a bit of a rarity and something I never quite get used to. I mean, it’s nice eating lots of courses of great food and sipping silky wine, but I never lose the feeling that I’m about 12 years old and an impostor in these sorts of establishments.  The feeling is exacerbated when the waiter:

1) Flicks open my serviette and glides it onto my lap. I mean, I don’t have the strongest arms in the world but I probably could’ve managed that myself.
2) Places 20 knives, forks and spoons in front of me. How long am I going to be sitting there?
3) Pours an inch of Cabernet into my glass and waits expectantly for the usual glass swirling/sniffing/palate-rolling behaviour that is meant to ensue.
4) Hands me a menu in Latin. ‘A filet of Beef nestled upon a Symphony of Fluffed agria potatoes placed Strategically alongside a Handsome row of Beans’ etc.
5) Retrieves my coat at the end of the meal and pauses as I grow 10 arms and struggle into it, slightly blearily after too many Cabernets and 21 courses including, and I quote, ‘Variations on a Theme of chocolate’. Mmm.

Not to mention the bill. HOW much?! I’m on toast for the rest of the week.

But if you’re in the northern hemisphere, do you care about all of the above?

No!

You’re too busy basking in the soft warmth of spring and planning that summer vacation at the beach house. And so you should. But unfortunately many companies marketing their wares to me online fail to understand that there’s this thing called, uh, the Equator, and that some people are upside down.

If they thought beyond their little space on the planet they might stop telling me to bronze my body for Spring Break. I wouldn’t read – in emails addressed to me – about how I need to stock up on Fourth of July fireworks, or defrost some Thanksgiving turkeys, or purchase thermals on a day when I’m lying on the beach with an ice cream.

I’m not saying anyone’s season is better, or that special occasions aren’t special. But if an international company stopped to think about my geographical situation, I’d notice. I might even buy something.

Last night I was kneeling on the edge of my bed, leaned backwards (forgetting I was on the edge of the bed), and proceeded to do a head-first reverse somersault that culminated in a nasty *crunch* and me lying in a very strange position on the floor.

I went to hospital but luckily it was nothing worse than a back and neck I won’t be able to move properly for the next few days.

I hope you are laughing, because I am. What a dumbass! I also feel lucky though because imagine if I’d broken my neck or something. Hello, Christopher Reeve (although he was on a horse; I went flying off an inanimate bed).

I used to scoff at the TV commercials they screened here for a while (run by the Accident Compensation people) warning us about the dangers of our own homes. They were quite shocking: housewife trips over a toy and falls face first over a glass coffee table; man climbs ladder to paint his roof, ladder falls back and man lands on concrete; man has shower, trips on wet floor and goes flying. Ouch!

Judging from the tales I overheard at the hospital last night, it’s pretty easy to have accidents like these. But how cautious can we be? You gotta live your life, man. It got me thinking about blogging hazards, though. What hidden physical dangers do we risk as we innocently blog away in the alleged safety of the home?

• Electrocution
• RSI (Repetitive Strain Injury)
• Heavy objects falling on us (equipment, from shelves etc)
• Falling off chair (don’t drink and blog)
• Burns when spilling coffee on self (don’t drink and blog)
• Plus: Emotional trauma damage when flamed by a troll – aka insulted by someone being controversial for the sake of it

Solution: Padded suit and helmet. I’m going to market it as Blogger Protection Gear.

Wow, New Zealand looks beautiful. I want to go! Wait, I’m already here. Although I don’t spend my days commuting to work over snow-capped mountains, or my lunch breaks kayaking smoothly through a silent mirror lake.

What I find interesting is that they reportedly paid $NZ450,000 (US$320,000) for that 24-hour homepage slot, as well as a special channel page valid for three months. Seems rather steep. Did they know you can upload videos for free, and the best ones make it to the ‘most-viewed’ section? And call me old-fashioned, but isn’t the point of YouTube that it’s user generated, user selected and user rated content?

Still, good on them for being modern and stuff, and obviously being on the homepage for 24 hours will result in a flood of traffic. My budget would not cover such a promotion but it’s exciting to see companies here seeing the benefits of advertising online, especially on an international site. Has been rather a long time coming.

And for those who are not overly concerned with the state of online advertising in NZ, it’s a pretty video.

I am generally reluctant to spend money online because ‘most everything is free: entertainment, information, videos of Paris’s extra-curricular activities, you name it. And there are many ways to make money that don’t cost a dime, such as adding some affiliate ad code onto your site. But sometimes spending can be a form of investment, if you’re expecting a return on your money, and if the cost is low it can be worth a shot.

Pros of spending online to make money:

• If you’re quick, you can secure a good keyword/url/placement and reap future rewards, in the form of money and/or traffic, once the buzz grows.
• If you make a successful investment, you can share your experience with others.
• You can build on your initial success to generate more money with other savvy investments.

Cons of spending online to make money:

• It’s a risk; there is often no guarantee of making money.
• Success can be random. Often it’s 10% idea but then 90% execution. Who would’ve put their money on Million Dollar Homepage working out?
• You may feel a bit silly if you share your ‘find’ with others and it flops.

Below are two recent examples of ideas from fellow bloggers (inspired by the Million Dollar Homepage story) that may help you promote your site and make money, if you are prepared to spend money in the first place.

1. Ryan Shamus (who must drink, like, a thousand Red Bulls to juggle all his projects) has created a new site called Blogging’s Most Wanted, where you can buy a square on the homepage that links to your site for $15, plus go into the draw to win $1,000 (first prize) and $500 (second prize) once all 625 squares are sold.

If you click the link above and direct your gaze to row 2, box 5 (it’s like playing Battleship), you’ll see mini me. I really need a logo, I’m sick of that blue top – so last season. Anyway, read more about BMW here and find out how to get $5 back on your purchase.

2. As part of his quest to make a fulltime living online within a year, Bryan (no relation to Ryan) at OneMansGoal is selling squares on a page of his site for $10 each. And he’s promising a whopping $10K (US$), once they’re all sold, in a random draw to one square owner. AND he’ll donate another $10K to that person’s charity of choice! Read more details here.

Those are just two examples from a growing number of site owners looking to make money by selling ad spaces cheaply on a single page, with a prize giveaway as part of the incentive. What do you think? Would you take part or stick with marketing your site for free?

I have nothing against tattoos, in fact I have one myself. But as much as I love certain sites I would not ink myself permanently with their avatars or logos. I just wouldn’t. Not if they paid me, and especially not for free.

A tumble of questions/thoughts arise from such behavior.

• Does this act reveal a touching loyalty to the sites, or is it just a pathetic bid for attention?
• This will help the dude get more traffic (I went to his site) but what is the traffic worth? How far would you go for attention/traffic/sales?
• The internet is a fickle beast. What happens when DP Forums/Shoemoney change their logos? Or close down, as many websites do?
• How many people in the world get tattoos of websites these days? If you absolutely had to get one or the world would end, what would you get? I’d probably have Google – pretty colors, and I’m a shareholder.
• Tattoos can cost a lot to add, and more to remove. Are they art, or disfigurement? Can they be an investment if prominently placed as a kind of promotional tool?

Thoughts?

Newletter pre-send checklist

Once you’ve written it and built it (if you have a template) you’re ready to click send. But wait! If you’ve made a mistake you won’t be able to undo it. This is it. You’re about to push the button. First, run through these questions.

• Are your links all working? Broken links will frustrate users and kill traffic
• Do you have a clever subject line? A good subject line will get them clicking – keep it honest, though,and nothing raunchy. Is it SFW (Safe For Work?)
• If you have a template, have you tested it in all the main email clients? Just because it looks good in your Gmail in IE7 doesn’t mean it’ll look like that for everyone
• Has someone proof-read your copy? Staring at it yourself won’t be enough. You’ll miss things
• Does the email contain branding? You’ve worked so hard… don’t forget your logo if it’s an html newsletter, and put your brand in the ‘from’ section so it’s clear who’s sending the email
• Does the email contain an easy Unsubscribe option? You don’t want to encourage it, but make it a simple click process – better than being labeled ‘spam’
• Is your database full and ready to go? Have you checked it for de-dupes (an email address added more than once)? Did the people in the database sign up? Don’t send unsolicited emails, it’s a dangerous path
• Is your site running? Sounds silly, but if your server goes down as you send, of your links won’t open. That’s traffic lost and annoyance all round

When you’ve run through the list above and had a shot of whiskey, click send. Now comes the tracking which may happen immediately if you are using snazzy software.

Tracking involves answering the following questions which will help you tweak and plan more newsletters:

• How many people opened the newsletter? When? Read time can play a key part in when you send the newsletter and your content (for example, I sent a recipe newsletter mid-afternoon when people were hungry and considering dinner)
• How many clicks did you receive? One of the main aims of a newsletter is to drive traffic to your website. If users aren’t clicking then there’s a problem (note: a clickthru rate of 7% or more is considered positive)
• Which links were most popular? Tracking the popularity of links is key to building future newsletters which should be tailored to your users
• How many people unsubscribed? It’s tragic, but you will get some rejections. Keep the number as low as possible, that’s all, and don’t email people too often or they’ll opt out
• How many people wrote to you complaining they couldn’t read it or the code was all wrong? Good of them to let you know. If you’re struggling, enlist the help of an IT friend to check your code

It seems like a lot of work…

Well, you can always just paste some copy and click send if you’re only sending to a few people. But once you’ve grown a big database and want to go all professional, you’ll want a template and system. It is a learning curve, but with a few repetitions you get the hang of it and it’s fun tracking the stats and seeing your traffic boosted!

Done! Thanks for reading. Are you planning to send a newsletter, or have you sent some before? Do you sign up for newsletters all the time, and which are your favorites? Do tell.

Of course, the most basic way is just to paste your text into an email and send. But that’s not very pretty, and there are many free online email templates these days to make your job easier. You can also sign up for software that checks, sends and tracks the e-newsletter for you, but most come at a cost. Scroll down for examples.

What does a good e-newsletter system offer?

• A handy Wysiwyg (content table) so you don’t have to dive into code and can easily insert graphics etc
• Wysiwyg/HTML view options so you can easily switch between the code and the layout
• Preview option for test sends
• Customer support and easy to follow FAQ and guidelines
• Ability to insert personal data, eg. first name of subscriber so it says ‘Dear Rich Minx’ instead of ‘Dear Customer’
• Tracking and removal of bounced emails (often because the address is incorrect or the mailbox is full)
• Easy importing/exporting of email addresses and a good search function if you need to edit/remove
• Clear tracking of sends, open rates, unsubscribing and clicks
• The ability to post-date a send and specify the duration of a sendout (sending all at once can negatively affect your status in email clients, who might label you spam)

Should I pay for an enewsletter system?

You don’t have to, but if you want personalized customer support and reliability for sends, and are sending to thousands of people, you might want to consider a paid option. But look out for what they charge per send: do they have discounts for large databases? Is it easy to import/export the database? Many offer a free trial – take it for a spin first.

Tips for building an e-newsletter

• Learn basic HTML. The Wysiwyg helps but there will be times when you need to edit the code
• Test repeatedly by sending previews to major email clients (eg Gmail, Yahoo, Hotmail) and check in different browsers (eg. IE, Firefox). You will not be able to make it look perfect everywhere, but set a high standard for the main clients.
• Avoid CSS when possible (email clients may override your styles); use basic, old-fashioned HTML codes if you are building the code yourself.
• Keep the layout as simple as possible, and make sure images aren’t too heavy. Too many bells and whistles increase the chance of failure and being sent straight into ‘Spam’. No animated graphics!
• Make sure there is an easy Unsubscribe option. Provide a link (often near the bottom, but clear) to an Unsubscribe page. Many templates add this automatically. Don’t ask the person to enter their login details; keep it simple or they’ll just label you spam to make their lives easier.

Some free e-newsletter templates to modify and send yourself

• Mail Chimp
• Templates Box
• Interspire
• Kekeko

Some newsletter systems for creating, sending and tracking

• Constant Contact (has free 60-day trial)
• E-Newsletters Online (has free 14-day trial)
• Send Blaster (free basic version, paid upgrade to ‘Pro’)

Next: How to send your e-newsletter with a pre-send checklist

For a few years I was responsible for creating at least one e-newsletter a week for a company I worked for. The database grew from nothing to tens of thousands by the time I left (no, that’s not the entire population of New Zealand, but it’s a small town!).

Process of sending a newsletter

• First, promote the newsletter on your site and encourage your users to sign up, explaining why they should (exclusive content? competitions? free stuff?)
• Decide how often it will be sent (weekly is a suggested maximum) and what the key content will be, planning ahead by a few weeks so you don’t get stuck
• Write the text – see below for an example
• Write the code, or use a template (if using an html version, which I’ll cover later)
• Edit the template with text and images if using html
• Preview again and again
• Send via email or special software

Why send a newsletter?

• Promotes your site and key content to a targeted audience
• Increases traffic and conversions if you are selling a product
  
• Creates an added sense of community
• Provides a service to your user (bonus free content, exclusive offers etc)
• Little cost to your business and, once you’ve gotten the hang of it, not very time-consuming
• If you sell advertising, it’s more advertising space to sell

Writing an email newsletter: tips

• Keep it short
• Don’t write chunks of text
• Promote and link to your key content
• Keep the tone light
• Make the user immediately aware of the benefits of the newsletter

Example

Dear Bob Loblaw,

Welcome to Rich Minx Express, the newsletter with bonus content for Rich Minx readers. This week we have a $50 discount voucher on an iPhone, exclusive to Rich Minx Express members! See below for details.

It’s also been a busy week with our $5 million cash giveaway for the best site review; click here to enter if you haven’t already. A lucky winner will be chosen next week.

The most popular article this week on Rich Minx was How To Make Your Blog Not Suck Majorly, and the Rich Minx forum ‘buzz’ has centered round FrogMan’s thread about how he became a prince in just 90 days. Check it out!

‘Til next week,
The Team at Rich Minx

It’s a fake, but you get the idea.

Next post: How to build your newsletter.

(ReviewMe is an online review marketplace, where bloggers can review products and websites etc for a cut of the profits. The value of a review is determined by things like the site’s ranking and the topic. Here’s their FAQ page about selection criteria etc.)

So Rich Minx has been rated by ReviewMe based on my ranking in Technorati (6K), my subscriber numbers (5), Alexa ranking (181K), my About Me photo (Could Do Better) and my IQ (90). I get 2/5 stars.

Two out of five! That’s a good Robin Williams movie, which is to say it’s still very bad. Still, it is nice to be accepted and is another step on my path to Ultimate Fighting Blogger.

I hope someone wants a site review because I love writing them. When I reviewed CareerRamblings.com a while back they said it was one of the best reviews they’d seen, and I didn’t even pay them to say it.

A Rich Minx review would give you:

• Feedback from me, an experienced webmistress, on your content, design, layout, SEO, and fashion sense
• Tighter abs
• A free set of steak knives if you order in the next 10 minutes, pay by credit card and quote the promotional number I seem to have misplaced
• I can be as gentle/tough as you like!

Have you used ReviewMe before, either as an advertiser or blogger? How’d it go?