What I did feel strongly about was the dire misuse of the English language, with spelling errors and nonsensical phrases peppered throughout the entire rant. Example: “Dilapidated and close to whether-or-not it can be retained, we are lunching this APPEAL.” My knowledge of dangling participles may be a little stale, but I’m pretty sure the “dilapidated” in that sentence is referring to “we”  and not to the church itself.

I am feeling a little dilapidated at the moment; perhaps I should drop leaflets around the neighbourhood asking for donations to restore me.

Sorry, Mr Church. Perhaps I shalt not mock thy poor grammar, or covet thy neighbour’s apartments. Best of luck to you. But please, next time get your leaflet proof-read. Please.

I tend to stick with animals. As a kid I used to do voluntary work at the local RSPCA, which involved a few icky chores like cleaning out litter trays, but I also got to take the dogs for a walk and play with the kittens (that’s me on the right, in the pic ). These days I’m less hands-on because I move around a lot, but I still donate a monthly amount to them, which goes towards animal vaccinations and food.

I also ‘adopt’ a zoo animal once a year. The first one I sponsored was called Ned, a serval kitten. Servals come from Africa and look like regular cats except they’re larger and with big ears on a small head. Young Ned had been rejected by his mother and, once his mournful photo was published in the local paper, received a swamp of ‘adoptions’. Since then I’ve adopted meerkats, orangutan and red pandas.

Apart from the fact that the cuter animals tend to get more attention, I think it’s a great way to help zoos, which have become much more about preserving endangered species and mimicking their natural environments than forcing the animals to perform tricks and shoving them in tiny cages. Some still have a way to go, though.

If you do want to sponsor an animal I’d suggest doing it locally so you can keep an eye on where the money goes, or at least donate to a well-known organization like the WWF, and do a bit of reading first.

What causes do you support? Or do you put yourself up for adoption.

Samuel wrote: Am samuel….am from Nigeria….i really need your financail surport.

The email was unfortunately lacking in detail. Normally in these types of communication I’ve won a lottery, or someone has a brilliant business idea but they just need a $20 million investment from me to get started.

Of course, I responded to my new BFF Samuel immediately. I wrote: Hi Samuel. Of course. How can I help?

Samuel has thus far not replied, so perhaps he’s already received help from some other kind-hearted blogger. Perhaps someone pointed him in the direction of the ubiquitous Buy Me a Beer plugin.

But seriously, why are these fund-seekers always from Nigeria? Is there a lack of cash but an abundance of broadband? Is it simply a numbers game, where if you ask and ask and ask and ask via every email address on the planet, someone will happily forward you their credit card details and wish you well?

Apparently, yes. The law site linked to dishes all the dirt on these “unsolicited email communications” and provides a list of dodgy pseudonyms which you should steer well clear of.

So next time Dr Ikomo Jeef writes to you asking for your assistance in delivering him from a pressing financial situation by sharing your address and bank account details, advise him of the merits of AdSense instead.

Search: “How to Get a Donation From Someone Rich” (or similar, “rich people giving money away” etc)
Results: 1,300,000
Ads that appear in Google: How to Donate and How to Get Rich ads.
My position: Page 2 of the organic results. My homepage is linked to, not a landing page.

I looked at the other results and couldn’t find much of use to a person looking to get money from rich people, apart from this page from HiMoney which is a free financial advice site. It seems to automatically browse the internet for answers and post what they think is relevant. The system seemed pretty disgusted by the question but offered a range of possibilities, including:

• Just ask
• Marry them
• Invent a charity and ask them to donate
• Please slap yourself
• Do something for them
• Dunno but please tell me when you find out

Those spidered answers seem to get the point across. I hope that helps my visitors who arrive here by searching for something so lame. Now get out!

But it does raise a good question: is asking for an online donation just cyber-begging? I’ve never tried it, although I don’t have anything against it; I once donated $30 via PayPal to a blogger who kept me entertained on a daily basis for free. But that was in 2004, before monetizing a blog with text ads etc. was a common thing. These days isn’t visiting, leaving comments, ad-clicking (if genuine) and purchase of products or sign-ups via someone else’s blog already a form of payment if it’s contributing to their monthly earnings? Just a thought.

If you’re a committed cyber-beggar who wants to go further than the beer plug-in, you can visit this site and set up your own page asking the general population for donations. Scanning the member pages, it’s pretty heart-rending stuff: veterans, orphans, the disabled, star-crossed lovers. But there is also the guy who just wants a new car.

What is the difference between asking for a donation and begging? Is it purely semantics? Homeless people beg on the streets. Charities ask for a donation. What is the difference, really, apart from the fact that ‘donation’ implies your money’s being better spent?

Of course, if you’re regularly reading a blog then you’ll know the quality of service and information that blog provides, and you may want to show your appreciation. Some people ask the blogger if they can donate. But how much is the right amount? Consider that an annual magazine subscription may cost $40-$50, but we read blogs on a daily basis, maybe more than that if they post more often.

Thoughts on the back of an envelope, please.

Like this post? Buy me a kitten.

Yesterday, after an animated sermon on recognisng Satan and lots of singing and clapping (I perfected my “ay-men!”), a basket was passed around for church donations, which I expected. Everyone put some money in, ranging from $1 to $20. But then some people walked up with envelopes containing tithes: 10% of their income for the church. I wonder how many people in the world still do this? Are they as good at saving for themselves as they are at donating for others?

I will never be a tither, but I do believe in donating money for a worthy cause. I have a monthly donation to the SPCA because caring for animals is an important issue for me (being a minx myself, perhaps). It might not save the world, but at least I can imagine a kitty cat munching on some food my money paid for. I am putting money into the kitty, so to speak.

PS. No Limits Ladies talk about the concept of cyberbegging. It’s really a matter of semantics – I prefer to call it fundraising, as in: “I am having a fundraiser! Send me money, please.”